Something Wonderful, Something... Willed?

 HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYPONY!! It is now 2016!!!! I mean 2026.... Obviously. :P

SO process of moving in has started, if you're wondering what I've been up to the past few days!! Tonight is the first night I am staying at my new house and I'm laying on my mattress in the middle of the floor... No bed frame, nothing else in my bedroom. Just me, my laptop, ambient music, and a dr pepper.

When I was downstairs in the kitchen, I realized something. I could hear the sound of a train passing through (somewhat faintly, not loud, but not missable)... It felt... nostalgic. I "grew up" in the mountains, in an area where trains were very common and I lived right by them where they'd blare their horns loudly throughout the day and nighttime, so I'm used to hearing them. However, when I first had to live near them, it was hard adjusting. I didn't like them for a long time, and truthfully they are still pretty fucking annoying. But when I left my "home" and moved out of the mountains, trading it for sunny skies, palm trees, and congested traffic (love it here, really lol..), I didn't realize how much I'd feel its absence. 

At night, instead of hearing train horns, I'd hear... nothing. I grew up around the sound of planes, cars, and then trains, and then suddenly... Nothing. Not that Florida is particularly quiet, I do still hear that noisy traffic and planes/helicopters overhead, but it's not quite the same... Maybe I've learned to tune it all out, but if that were the case, then how come my attention piqued at such a familiar sound? 

Mother says it's a potential flaw, something that'll be an irritation to the household as we live here, but I don't think that at all. Really, part of me is glad to fill the silence again. It feels right. What's funnier, the layout of our new house feels eerily similar to the house I "grew up" living in up in the mountains. In fact, we even have those same fugly ass filler bushes out in the front. The kind my mother and I absolutely despise. The ones we're definitely going to have to uproot and replace, later on.

There's all these funny little things that feel like flaws at first glance, but I can't help but think things are working out in a way that'll reveal itself to be something wonderful later on.

Call it New Years lenses, but I really do think things in 2026 are going to turn out far better than I could ever imagine. If I'm wrong, then the universe is now obligated to, at the very least, make it absurdly comedic if it plans to continue torturing me. But something in my gut is telling me things are going to change for the better. Perhaps it's not intuition, but stubbornness. Or dedication, if I bother to phrase it more attractively. I've ended 2025 with a lot of hope and goals for 2026. I hold myself to a high standard because I know I can do the things I set my mind to. I know I can because I won't let it NOT happen. I am at a point in my life where I am dead set or it's nothing. If I don't at least give my dreams my all, if I don't at least TRY- and try with all my might, all my dedication, all my blood, sweat, tears, and various other suspicious bodily liquids (be normal, friends..), then how could I ever turn away from my purpose in life so easily and say I did all I possibly could? It is not over until I say it is, and maybe that's what's different this year. I have taken the power out of "luck" and am wholly determined to give it back to myself.

Anywho, I still have a lot to get done. Sorry for talking so much about my personal life in this entry!! I try not to get too personal, but sometimes something just means so much to me, it's hard to not get a little passionate. It's getting pretty late and I'm in so much pain and am exhausted, so I think it's time to see myself ouuuttt. Night night, internet. ;P